would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
