that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Randomize