Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
birth control should be required to get into college
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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