I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
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