so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Randomize
