i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Randomize
