meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize
