she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
