he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Randomize
