omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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