why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
ugly people sure do ruin things
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Randomize
