the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
