Taylor Swift is so right about you.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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