sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
