??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
