In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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