I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
They have beer where we have blood.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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