I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
