Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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