so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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