feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
