i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
