I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
