ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize