whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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