He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize