I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
