hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
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