yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
