He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Randomize
