In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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