either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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