He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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