come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
