I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Randomize
