you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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