just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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