Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
