But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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