Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
