she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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