my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
