So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
