He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
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