I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
