I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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