Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Randomize
