dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
