As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
