My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Randomize
