It's Friday. Sex?
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize