I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
