The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
