What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Randomize
