I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Randomize
