If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
you had me at cake vodka
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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