why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
