At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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