READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
