Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Church boner. Awkwardddd
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
