what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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